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Young Writers Society



Like Buffalo drawn on Post-it Notes

by xanthan gum


I find that my life has been lost – all I recorded
on sad scraps of hotel paper
has found its home under Oxford-clad feet:
between the rich and the rain-drenched pavement.
I was better off posting stickers and writing on
dollar bills. Maybe they’re taken out of circulation,
but at least they’ve sat among half a dozen great presidents
and toured the grandest city’s subways.

In living no life, I found a fiber optic one already waiting for me.
and here was the only home my text could reside in,
with pixels and under formats and fonts.
But now that I’ve broken out of cell 01010110,
the world is my canvas.
As majestic as that sounds, there is no paint that withstands rain,
there is no hand to turn the pages of my memories,
and there is no ear attuned to the songs I sing
in my unsettled solitude.

I have taught myself to eat less,
value hours alone and to turn off my phone.
I promise, young poets, next time I get the opportunity, I’m risking
cell block 01010110 for the chance to
carve capitalism into a brick wall
for all the cavemen to read in ten thousand years.


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Tue Jan 15, 2008 1:59 am
Cade wrote a review...



I find that my life has been lost – all I recorded
on sad scraps of hotel paper
has found its home under Oxford-clad feet:
between the rich and the rain-drenched pavement.
The "writing on hotel paper" strikes me as a little overused. Maybe it's just the word scraps...why not pads or pages? Also, Oxford-clad seems a little excessive in terms of description. It's not really necessary to know the type of shoe--what's more important is that it's worn by "the rich."

grandest city’s subways
The subways in the grandest city? I would've said, "the city's grandest subways," as it seems more natural that way. If you mean the grandest city, I would suggest changing it.

In living no life, I found a fiber optic one
Awkward! Perhaps just "I found a fiber-optic life waiting for me," and cut "In living no life."

cell 01010110
I don't understand the significance of these numbers...are they intended to represent binary code?

carve capitalism into a brick wall
for all the cavemen to read in ten thousand years.
Strong ending, definitely.

I don't see exactly how the first stanza ties into the second and third. The second and third describe an escape from imprisonment by technology, and suggest the decline of society, but the first seems like a completely different poem.

-Colleen





We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master.
— Ernest Hemingway